In Praise of Stovetop Smokers

I did not have a good day. For many years, 14 to be precise, I have been dealing with tax issues with the IRS and the Wisconsin DOR. Ironically, the DOR has proven to be both more amateurish and clinically aggressive than the IRS. In any case, the matter with the DOR has come to a head with an ultimatum that matures this Thursday. In the meantime, and with some justification, I wait with some dread. This, combined with my propensity to worry, has created a significant depressive atmosphere until we reach a moment of denouement.

So today Jen and I went to the store (she feeling much better) and spent the day taking care of business there and working on my "Gideon's Fleece" book. It was largely a quiet day which in this case was not as distracting as a busy day would have been.

When we got home I checked on the chickens (only 4 eggs; what's up with that Hannah?) and watched the news. It was primarily about the protests in Madison. I ate a few potato chips and had a glass of Bota Box "Old Vine Zinfandel" while watching. A short while later I went into the kitchen, poured another glass of wine, and made chicken with one of the cooler cooking gadgets we own.

A number of years ago we bought a stovetop smoker. It also, or so the advertising claimed, could also be used as a Dutch Oven. In any case, it looked something like a Dutch Oven. It had a thick aluminum cast shell and cover, about 13" across and 6" high. The top was also heavy aluminum with an arched top. Inside there was a flat drip pan which sat about 1/2" above the bottom of the pan and a grill grid which sat another 4" over that.

Early on we used it once to make potatoes, and, while they were OK, didn't seem worth the time. Then we met Pam and Kevin. Sometime shortly after meeting (and this is a friendship defined by eating, drinking, and laughing at questionable jokes) I offered the smoker to Kevin to use for some salmon he had gotten for dinner. Fortunately, he not only accepted, he also knew how to use it and cooked a great dinner. I took notes.

So here is the deal. Most of these type of smokers come with some wood chips. The idea is that you are cooking the food over a high, relatively dry heat with smoke from the wood chips. As a general rule of thumb, take 1 1/2 Tbsp of wood chips, soak them for an hour in a small amount of water (or cheat and pop the water and chips into the microwave for 30 seconds and then let sit for another 10) and then arrange the damp chips in a circle about the size of the burner flame on the bottom of the main pan. Put the drip pan on top of that, drop the cooking grid on top of that, and place your meat on top of the grid.

In this case, I heavily salted and peppered 3 chicken breasts with bones and skins still on (I think boneless/skinless lose a lot of flavor). I let the smoker heat up on a medium-high flame while prepping the chicken and then popped them onto the cooking grid skin side up. Keep the cover on as the heat is everything. You want those wood chips to be charring. For chicken breasts I left them on for about 25 minutes. In the meantime I cut up some carrots and cooked them separately.

It ended up as kind of a simple meal, but really good flavors. Jen has a bunch of food allergies so sometimes the complexity of the menu is limited. The point is that I cannot over recommend the smoker. It is fast (roughly 35 minutes from start to finish), extremely simple, healthy (nothing beyond chicken, salt and pepper), and produces amazing taste. One side point; since I don't eat the bony bottom part and since I discard the skin after cooking, the actual amount of salt and pepper remaining is far less than that which I applied. Salt and pepper heavily. Other than the smoke, it is your only added flavor.

We ate at the kitchen table and then moved into the living room and watched "What Not to Wear". If you are interested in psychology, sexuality, or style (or better yet the collusion of all three) it is a show well worth watching. It is also an excellent primer on how to be kind but unapologetic. That, of course, segued into a discussion of the historically perfect waist-to-hip ratio found in art. Amazingly, Jen fits almost perfectly into the ideal ratio. I married well.